AULD LANG SYNE

with the new year right around the corner lets take a look back at the past year and see what i've learned and what i've wondered:


all the great sports teams eventually suck (see green bay packers 1994 vs. 2005)

neither side will get it right all by themselves (see republicans vs. democrats)

anything can be cool as long as a celebrity does it first (see those STUPID eskimo boots...seriously, i can't wait for you to look back at pictures of yourselves in 5 years and be so embarassed that you contemplate apologizing to everyone you knew then and then jumping out of a window)p.s. i can't wait to see what's next. maybe someone from the O.C. will bring back peg rolling your pants... and i swear if that becomes cool again, i will cut off my legs.

the Sox didn't repeat as world series champs and it's the yankees fault....trust me

music proved once again that everything that is underground and cool suddenly sucks and is cookie cutter as soon as more than 100 people have heard of the band.

the government will inevitably let people down and anger others (see- the hurricanes & the war) and out of the people let down and angry, the majority will spend their energy complaining about the incompetence of the government rather than trying to help.

star wars is over but the arguements have just begun

fox cancels every show worth watching (see Firefly, Wonderfalls, Arrested Development) and keeps all the bad ones (see so you think you can dance, trading spaces, nanny 911)

inclusion of other beliefs is subtly spelling exclusion for christianity ( see- "happy holidays" vs. "merry christmas")

you have the freedom of religion unless you want to mention it in public.

people didnt realize how sad it was that they were able to watch the beginning and end of a couples' marriage (see - nick and jessica)

that reminds me- every year marriage becomes less and less important because it can be dissolved in a matter of minutes and over the internet (i believe)

trucks get bigger and cars get faster, only no one is hauling anything and the speed limit is 45.

paris hilton is famous

howard stern is really old

andy rooney is still alive ( despite what i have seen on 60 minutes)

my friend Josh is British ( or at least we think he is)

we like to push christian bands up the ladder and into the mainstream so we can celebrate their success and that they can reach more souls and then we choke them with their mic cord, push them over the ladder and call them sell outs.

every day we live in a country that was saved by veterans of WWII and everyday we just see "old people"

my friends love me despite the fact that i am a turd

my wife and i live to love each other (and love to torment each other)

Charlie Weiss may be of divine blood

the yankees are still evil, pure and untainted

i can lose alot of weight in a short amount of time with effort and dedication

i can put weight on in a shorter amount of time with no effort whatsoever

everyone has a blog and noone has time to read them

how can they still make dvd's with NO bonus features?

the rolling stones all died 15 years ago and nobody told them

axl rose ..new album...10 years and waiting

i saw advertisements for a monster truck rally.....they're still doing that!

sci fi programming is more real than reality tv (see Battlestar Galactica and Firefly)

people complained the buses wouldnt pick them up in new orleans, but whenever the buses came, they (the buses) were shot at and riots began) HINT....single file

i do alot of nodding but not enough doing

i am forgiven every single day no matter what i did the one before

people who hate their jobs work there forever

people who love their jobs are laid off

Google eventually will tell us how to solve world hunger

angelina vs. jennifer

will there be another Tomb Raider movie?

the following movies are hilarious despite what anyone tells you:
Shaun of the Dead
Cannibal the Musical
Just Friends
Wedding Crashers

its appearantly ok to use the F word but only if you use it to also apologize for saying it
(exp: "oh f*_! ooops, i'm f*_!^ng sorry i didnt mean to say that

the debate started in 1992 and i still think potato is spelled with an "e"

didn't some of the New Kids....from the Block have comebacks?

Fear Factor is back!!! and dumber than ever

tv's 2006 motto....if you don't show some poor family's misery and then build them a new house to make you cry OR some form of alien then it ain't worth watchin' !!!

Lost will surpass heroin as the most addictive substance in our country

dane cook is pretty funny

so is lewis black

robert schimmel is great too now that i think about it

m. night shyamalan will blow peoples minds again in '06 and if you dont want to be disappointed by his movies.....STOP COMPARING THEM TO THE SIXTH SENSE !!!!

noone will read this

auld lang syne means old-long-ago and by definition means times gone past, good old days. in the old scotish dialect it means "old long ago"

happy new year

God is Love

yankees suck