as my wise wife says "Anger is a Choice"

i wish i knew what the piss is going on with me lately! i seem to be working on some sort of renaissance in my life. whether it is my diet, exercise, my temper, relationships, spiritual life, they all seem to be undergoing changes. all for the good mind you, but all at one time. maybe i've finally gotten to a place where i understand that i really am not going to live forever down here and everyday that i am an as*@#_le in one way or another is one more day i've wasted.

today's example comes courtesy of some schmuck in our apartment community.

marie called me the other day at work and asked if i had taken her ipod adapter out of her jeep. to which i replied noooooooo and with every o my eyebrows sharpened into points and my jaw tightened as i knew what was coming next.
rie-"yeah, i went out to my jeep and the drivers side door was open just a hair and my glove box was open...and it's the one time i didnt lock the glove box when i put the charger in there and now it's gone"

**now, previously had this happen the order of events would have gone something like this:
1-anger welling up inside me
2-not finding a proper target or channel for said anger i turn it on marie and somehow make this about how she didn't lock the glove box
3- i make an ass out of myself***

but for some reason, this time i just told her it's ok and that it was just a "thing." ....and the weird part??? i meant it!!! sure i was angry that some tool stole from us, but it didn't bother me like it used to. for most of my life i would have condemned this person to hell and wished the kinds of happenings to him that you see in horror movies to the dumbass that is always cocky. but no, i let the initial shock wash over and started to heal (now, my wife was over it faster than i, and i have been very thankful to have her set a good example, cuz i've thought about it a few times since it happened and when i start to get angry about it i think of her, i mean she's the one who got robbed, and if she's ok with it, i'm ok with it)

what really went thru my head wasnt hunting down this loser to pummel him/her. instead i wished i could sit down with this person and just ask them why? ask them if they realized that someone paid alot of money for that. did they think about how many hours the person might have had to work to buy that? just why? did they think about the insecurity that would bring about. marie is convinced the person had seen her disconnecting her ipod and putting away the cords and charger, something she does everyday, and so that worries us that they may try to jump her getting out of her car at night or something.



I'M GOING TO PAUSE HERE BECAUSE THIS IS A LONG BLOG, AND MORE CONFESSING THEN ENTERTAINING AND SO I WANTED TO GIVE YOU A REWARD IN HOPES THAT YOU WILL CONTINUE READING. AND NOW THAT I HAVE COMPLETELY RUINED ALL MOMENTUM.....







basically i just wanted to try and enlighten the person as to how their choice affects others. ( a lesson i also learned recently from my own emotions and temper)
but since i will probably never know who the bandit was, the choice i chose was to ask for God's forgiveness for feeling anger at this person. not only that, i asked that God would help me love this person. i don't write this to make myself sound like a wonderful example, instead i am writing this because this behavior is shocking to me and i want to share the changes that are taking place for me. i realized that as i thought about staying angry at this person and keep a score of what they took and owed marie and i,i also thought about everything dark and twisted and wrong and evil i had ever done and how as embarassing humiliating and wrong those things all are, God will not hold that against me. not only that, but he will Love me. how can i get mad at someone for stealing an $80 charger that was bought with my wife's year end work bonus, when out of that $2,000 not one cent went to God. come to think of it, i don't think that we even said a hint of thanks to him for blessing us with a bonus to pay off debt and medical bills.

how can i fault this person for being weak and stealing, when i am weak and struggle with different issues of anger, greed, pornography, selfishness and all the others that i am too blind to acknowledge right now. how could I?

so i learn, and i grow. i learn from talking to myself, from my wife, from surroundings and circumstances, and God continues to teach using all of those as tools. i'm not perfect, but the problem is, i'm not even trying to be.

thank God for His grace. thank God for His forgiveness that, by the way, He encourages us to extend to each other.

marie has been telling me that anger is a choice.

i am finally starting to believe that.

anger is a choice, and so are alot of other things.





now i have failed miserably at keeping a daily Mitch Hedberg quote on this site but i want to start to try and make it up to you, the 4 people who read this blog and the 2 of you who accidentaly click on my blog instead of the one above it in your bookmarks.
"i want to get a vending machine with fun size candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. you'll be mad, but it will be too late."