not a shabby week

so lets see, since thursday morning, i have met my 2 literary idols and got to see one of the 3 favorite bands.....yeah, it was an ok week.

my wonderful wife made sure that i couldn't weasel my way out of doing something that i really did want to do, so she paid for my admission to the Calvin College Festival of Faith and Writing. what an amazing time. For any of you that don't know, i have struggled for a few years to become a writer. I haven't struggled with getting published....because i can't ever get a book finished!!
But this seminar was exactly "what the doctor ordered." so many different and amazing authors speaking on their craft kept me burning up pens and paper from thursday morning until saturday afternoon.

There ended up being alot of authors that i got to meet and discuss topics one on one, most were authors i had never heard of before the weekend. but there were 2 names that i went there to hear speak.

First there was Donald Miller. now, i don't fault you if you haven't heard of him, but i will fault you if you don't check him out now. Probably his most popular book Blue Like Jazz, still dances in my head nearly everyday with ideas even though it's been over a year since i last read it. please check him out. During his session he read from an article he wrote in the Burnside Writers Collective. it is hilarious, but he makes a great point also. you can click here read it here.
Afterwards i was able to meet him and say hi for a minute. that was the sunshine of friday!


On saturday i arrived nearly 2 hours early to the chapel to hear Ted Dekker speak. i spent the time writing and praying but let's be honest. he is the first author i ever read that wasn't for a school report and i wanted to make sure i got a good seat! He was a very engaging speaker, he didn't want us to just come in, sit down, and listen to him spew his version of fact and truth. he wanted conversation and banter. in fact he got just a little discouraged when noone had any big ugly clashing topics to debate him with. i have always enjoyed his writing style and it was really interested hearing the author speak on why they do something a certain way or what to keep in mind when reading their works. also i was very thankful that he took the time to meet me for a couple of minutes and let me share my journey with him, to which he thanked me more than i thanked him! meeting him was another great honor. ugh! i hate that the festival is over...and it's only every 2 years.


but thank you Rie soooo much for pushing me to do this....and by myself no less!!

saturday i actually left the festival before it ended because my lovely wife and i got tickets to go see Dashboard Confessional in saginaw. what a great time! it was supposed to be a solo acoustic set, but he surprised the crowd with a full band. they even went electric for the encore in which they did my favorite song of all time Vindicated. unfortunately this was the second time i had seen him perform this song live. the other time was on a late night talk show. both times he forgot or garbbled words. i felt bad for the guy but he has a kindred spirit in me! i know he wrote the song and should probably remember the words, but i would literally put the song on repeat and listen to only that for days at a time, and i still stumbled on the words, there's a similar phrase that starts both verses and if you trip on it, it screws up the whole thing!

on the way to the show, we noticed that saginaw had built a new, enormous Deja Vu strip club. i mean, this place was one of the nicer looking buildings on this stretch of road, and it was out by meijers and walmart! but anyway, it was really big and this is the conversation that took place as we passed it:

chris: wow! that's a huge deja vu! that thing must be two floors.
marie: or they have really tall poles.

folks......have you ever heard something so brilliantly funny that you couldnt laugh? not even a chuckle? marie actually thought i didnt think it was funny but i was just frozen. it was genious. i laughed alot harder later remembering it.

now in closing from this novel size post, two terrifying statements followed by clarification.


1. i punched my wife in the head last night

-driving home late last night, i had a plastic meijers bag rolled open and i was using it to put my empty sunflower seed shells in. well, marie was sleeping next to me and after a while i was done with the shells and didnt want her to wake and spill the bag so i closed it up, tied it in a knot and instictively reached over to tuck the bag on the floor behind the passengers seat. unfortunately marie was reclined so instead, i punched her, somewhat hard in the side of the face with a bag of sunflower seed shells.

if any of you were considering keeping a bag of empty sunflower seed shells at your ready as a crime deterant, i would not recommend it. it didn not stop marie from causing me further physical harm and it only made her angrier. instead, i suggest that you possibly try pistacio shells, with several rocks or pieces of concrete in a bag.


2. i murdered a raccoon.

-i was plugging my ipod into my ear so i could stay awake on the drive without waking rie up. now, speaking honestly, my eyes did not waiver from the road, i wasnt looking down at it as i plugged in the headphones. but, my attention was diverted to untangling the chord and in that instant a big adorable raccoon suddenly appeared frozen in front of my car. he saw it, and i saw it. i mouthed "i'm sorry" and his eyes cried out "i don't blame you." he tried to scurry back off the road and i had no time at all except to let out a sound that has no written equal.
it was a Garden State quality scream, no time to think out volume level, or control, or the fact that the whole ipod thing was so rie could sleep and that the terrifying, murder quality scream that i unleashed did nothing to keep her in sleepyville. i just flat out said " AAAAWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

and to make it worse i actually (and this is gross) heard and felt it thump and scrape under the car. it sickened me the rest of the ride home. although, as i told rie, if i would have had even one more second to respond, i would have jerked the wheel and probably done us serious death or harm. just like i didnt have that extra second to think out if i should scream or not, one more second would have only let me respond, not think first, so i guess that i am thankful that it happened in the order it did, if it had to happen at all. but i did keep peeking out of the blinds all night, awaiting the sweet revenge of raccoon kin. but it never came, maybe they were waiting and plotting, maybe i had given them the slip, maybe they were just raccoons and had no formal thought pattern. or maybe, just maybe, they were part of the bigger raccon genocide that we witnessed alot a stretch of road just further on in our journey home.

well, that should give you enought to read for the next couple of monts, so enjoy!

oh !! one more thing. an old friend of mine and her sister have made a movie called Kalamazoo? and it's in theatres now. being an independent movie, it needs all the support it can get and it's already been out a couple of weeks so please get out and help that head of steam to keep pushing! it's a really great movie.























and please forgive me, this thing is so long that i no longer have the strength or the energy to speel check.